Goodnight Nurse

Every once in a while the school nurse will have lunch in the teachers' lounge, while I’m having lunch. It doesn’t happen often because she has to be in the clinic in case of an emergency. I guess from time to time she can escape, which I hate.

It’s not because I have some sort of medical phobia or anything. No, I dread seeing her because I have to talk to her. Let me explain.

She’s a Mono Speaker, meaning she frequently says a single word to express herself, and you, the listener, have to crack the message. I feel like I’m on an episode of $10,000 Pyramid. And let me tell you that I suck at that show.

Like today she looked at me and said, “Diabetes.”

While I’m staring at her in my head I’m panicking, “Things that are diagnosed. Things that scare me. Things that B.B. King has. What a creepy nurse says!”

Once the silence had become awkward, she broke it with, “Right?”

What? What’s right? That you’re crazy? I am an adult, so talk-to-me-like-an-adult!

The next time I have a “conversation” with her, I’m just going to fire off single round shots of my own and see what happens.

“Lice”

“Dinosaur”

“Soap”

“Carp”

“Right?”

“Meow”

Usually, I complain about lunch being too short for students and teachers. Trust me this was the longest lunch of my life.