Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Return To Sender

Over the years I’ve shared a number of e-mail communications with you guys from various staff members, especially administrators like our principal Pécan and the heir apparent, AP Evelyn Hammer. I’ve shared them because there’s always something that gets a reaction out of me, from laughter to screaming. There was even that one e-mail about the student who tried to hold-up the National Honor Society treasurer with a boa constrictor he had stolen from a biology classroom that made me both laugh and scream. Me and Indiana Jones: We both hate snakes. The similarities stop there.

What I don’t think I’ve shared about any of those e-mails from administration is the message that is included at the end of every single one. It’s guaranteed to get a chuckle from me every time. It says in all caps, “DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL. THIS IS NOT A MONITORED ACCOUNT. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS THEN CONTACT YOUR SUPERVISING ADMINISTRATOR.”

I laugh because I can see using such a set-up to my advantage. What if I did respond? I could blow-up at their requests to keep a discipline log in triplicate or their encouragements to review the school’s handbook with the students on a weekly basis with, “YOU review the handbook with students,” or “Your mom’s a triplicate!” without any repercussions. I could say anything I wanted, and it wouldn’t matter because nobody reads e-mails from the account. It would all just go into the great Internet void.

I could even see me using it as a confessional as sorts. Let’s face it; I’m not the greatest teacher. I have moments of weakness just like anyone else. I need to resolve myself of stuff--like when I laughed when one of my students told another student his “breath smelled like dead ass.” For your information, I only laughed because the boy who said it reeks daily.

The more I think about it, though, perhaps I should refrain from doing such a thing. The conspiracy theorist in me is telling me that administration probably does read responses and put them in some sort of secret file…in triplicate.

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