What The Helicopter?

Pécan sent an e-mail that gave us the heads-up on a visit that the school would be receiving. Later this week during the morning hours a Coast Guard rescue helicopter will be landing on campus. It is coming for an educational visit, and Pécan wanted to notify us ahead of time so as to make sure no staff members panicked with it’s approach.

Though this job does give me a “lost at sea” feeling with great frequency, I don’t expect the sighting of a Coast Guard Helicopter to worry me. It might be because I think that this place needs something a little bit more lethal. At times, the chopper I imagine that would come to this school would be devoid of markings, so as not to be traced back to any specific government entity, and filled with a rag-tag, but the best at what they do mercenaries to take out this country’s most deadly enemy: the teenage jack-a-ninny.

What? Like we couldn’t do with less sexual deviants, sociopaths and plain old dumbasses. Oh, wait. That’s right; it’s my job as a teacher to steer these children clear of any transgressions, armed with state testing exercises and lesson plans for The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. Great….

Now that I think about it, though, perhaps the Coast Guard being here isn’t so bad. I mean they do deal with drug trafficking, and this school is a regular illegal pharmacy.