You Are Here

During one of our ever-important department meetings, one of the teachers made the comment, “I’m not here for the students. I’m here for the literature.” I have to admit that it was a bit awkward, given the fact that the topic of discussion was our colored paper supply. Like I said, it was quite a crucial meeting.

Anyway, I consider myself as a guy who gripes about his students like no one has before, yet what she said had to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. She comes to a high school for a proper literary fix? That’s like going to McDonald’s for the fine dining. Does reading analysis from the students like, “Huck’s dad is an ass,” and “Pap does bad stuff because he’s mean; therefore, Pap’s a bad man,” get her juices flowing?

There’s got to be better ways to get a literature fix. You can always just read a book. There are libraries are all over this country. Or if you want to be cool, lounge around in a Barnes & Noble. They have cafes, Ooh-la-la.

“I’m not here for the students. I’m here for the literature.”

I wonder if you can hear stuff just as ridiculous in other lines of work. You know, people doing jobs for the silliest of reasons.

I’m only a coroner because I like tables with wheels.

I’m not at the slaughterhouse to kill cows. I’m here for the industrial aprons.

I clean toilets because porcelain is pretty.

I don’t know. Maybe she has a point. I mean, when’s the last time I ever read a book just to read a book for my own pleasure. When I’m off work I’m always, well, working. All the grading and prepping demands such a schedule. With that said, the only reasonable time to spend with a good book is to assign it as schoolwork. At least that seems like the only reasonable time, unless they invent sleep/reading. What am I saying? This job doesn’t let me sleep either!