Needles to Say

You may not believe it, but I am all for students keeping their hands busy while class is going on. For some, they need to fiddle while learning. Somehow it helps them concentrate. I don’t understand the science behind it, but hey, I remember acing a Shakespeare class in college, while sketching out the most bitchin’ rollercoaster design on the back of a legal pad.

And I wish I could let it happen more often in my class, but I can’t. The math just doesn’t work out because for every student it benefits there’s at least a half-dozen kids who are crazy-distracted. Take this one girl, for example. She is very sharp, one of my sharpest students, and is really into knitting. If she could knit all day, then she would. She’s even substituted chopsticks for knitting needles, so as not to be in some sort of violation of school policy. I told you she was sharp.

Shoot, even without the needles, I’ve got boners in the class running up to her and pretending to stab each other with her chopsticks. You know what I’m talking about, where they put the chopstick under their armpit and act like they’re suffering an agonizing death.

This is my point. The knitter can handle the responsibility of doing her hobby and participating in class. She is capable, but I have to ask her to stow her knitting away because others are not. If she isn’t being harassed with requests to make stuff (from caps to a freakin’ magic carpet), then they’re taking her yarn to create/enhance certain body parts.

Yuck, the thought of seeing that again makes me want to shove knitting needles in my eyes.