A Prevent Defense

Do you know what I am tired of doing? I am tired of preventive discipline. By “preventive discipline” I am talking about removing opportunity from my students to do something stupid. You see, everyday objects are the perfect props for my students’ shenanigans. Rulers and glue sticks become catapults. Pushpins adorn calluses. Nothing is off limits when it comes to incorporating stuff. For years I have kept things out of reach, only to dole out supplies as I saw fit. For example, the kid in my sixth period class who wears the same Slipknot t-shirt everyday doesn’t get to use the stapler. It isn’t because he has undying allegiance to Slipknot. It is because the last time I saw him with a protractor he was stabbing my power socket. What in the world would he do with a loaded stapler? Stuff like this has me jack-a-ninny proofing my classroom.

This takes a ton of work, though, which takes up a ton of my time and is tiring. Well, why don’t I do something about that? I’m always bitchin’ about how overworked I am. It’s time for me to stop talking and to start acting. If I want more time for myself, then I need to cut out worrying about what a kid will end up doing with rubber bands and a bottle of Wite-Out. If somebody loses and eye or, say, gets gutted like a fish, then so be it. Consider it a life lesson. I am in the teaching business after all.

Of course, this new game plan of mine does include me wearing a suite of armor. Knowing my luck, it would be me who would lose the eye.