What are you replying?

The beginning of a semester always brings a ton of e-mail announcements. It’s all the stuff that staff members want to share with others. There’s always one from the nurse about slow passes for students or a counselor revealing that new college brochures in her office. There are many different e-mails with many different messages.

One thing that is similar between all of these e-mails is that they have that “Do Not Reply” tag in the subject line. I hate that. I don’t know why. Maybe it is because I’m seeing it fifty times a day and by the time I get to the last one I feel like I’m getting bossed around.

Why can’t I respond? I mean it’s not like I would. I could give two spits about the school newspaper coming out on Mondays rather than Fridays or that we’ve switched from condiment dispensers to condiment packets. But what’s wrong with someone wanting to contribute and give input to a school policy or practice? Someone may want to point out that it is ridiculous to allow jack-a-ninnies the chance to stockpile mustard and ketchup packets, especially with it being senior prank season. Sure the change may have been made for budgetary reasons, which rules supreme in the Education world, but have we forgotten the Soap Capades from two years ago? Two years is more than enough time for them to progress (actually regress) to sliding around in mayonnaise.

I wonder what would happen if I did reply. Would these Brownshirt looking bruisers show up at my classroom door? Would my brakes mysteriously go out on my way home from school one night? What?

I’ve got an idea. I’m going to send out a school-wide e-mail instructing staff to take me off their school-wide mailing lists and I’m going to put “Do Not Reply” in the subject line. They wouldn’t be able to do anything. I’ve taken away their ability to reply! It’s genius, I tells ya! GENIUS!