The Borrowers

Borrish e-mailed the rest of the English department asking who borrowed the wooden dowel used for the paper towel dispenser. Yes, I thought it was strange that she used the word, “borrow,” as well. Who borrows something like the wooden dowel from a paper towel dispenser? That’s like asking to borrow the spring out of a ballpoint pin. No, I’m going to guess that the dowel has, indeed, been taken.

Now do I know why a dowel would be taken? No I do not, but since I’m in a guessing mood I am going to do just that. My best jab at what happened is that a teacher ripped the dowel from underneath the upper cabinet in a fit of rage, with the intention of clubbing a student.

I know. I know. Three days into a semester seems a bit early to want to club a student, but it actually isn’t even a record for a teacher wanting to do such a thing. That honor belongs to a former Spanish teacher with a poster tube in 2003. I don’t remember her name. She was gone soon after that. We just refer to her as Señora Swat.