In Need of Some Assistants

One of the administrative assistants from the front office is leaving, and I am declaring to the world that I will not miss her. Has she been rude to me in the past? Did she do poor work? No. Those are not the reasons why I will not miss her. The real reason is the fact that I have no idea who this woman is.

This isn’t a case of SLHS being such a large place that you can’t possibly interact with the entire staff. I do not know this woman because she started working here on Monday and four days later she notifies the whole school that today is her last day. That, folks, is why I know basically nothing about this person. Four days—I can’t even kill my houseplants that fast.

Yep, on Monday Pécan was welcoming Whatsherface to the Baron family, and on Thursday she’s composing her farewell e-mail. She said she would miss all of us in her message, by the way. How?!

She didn’t say why she was leaving, but the reason for her leaving isn’t really important. There are a number of things that can pop up suddenly in one’s life. In fact, I’m glad we don’t know because it provides the perfect opportunity for my imagination to go wild.

I bet she was let go for stealing office supplies. No, wait—office furniture!

She’s allergic to toner.

How’s this? She won the lottery, but here’s the kicker: She mistook a five dollar scratcher for a hundred thousand one.

Anyway, maybe this will ignite some new policy around here. We might wait to announce newcomers for, say, at least a week. That way we can be little bit more sure that things are going to be okay. Think of it as the first employment trimester.