What Can Brownies Do For You?

So we had BAP last Friday, the Friday before Valentine’s Day. Usually, the BAP’s before Valentine’s, kids bring in snacks for each other to celebrate. You know, it’s stuff like cookies, cakes and brownies. Like we don’t have enough junk food floating around here. Fortunately, my kids aren’t motivated enough to organize such an effort. Now that I think about it, I guess that’s a poor reflection on me, considering the purpose of BAP.

But there’s always one student, isn’t there? One of my students from my seventh period-- he will make you some brownies. He did for his BAP class. And like some sort of cheesy sex comedy, he laced them with marijuana. I would say that the whole thing was unbelievable, but I would have spoken too soon. You see, the e-mail I got from his associate principal about the kid being sent to long-term detention had more information. It turns out that “the icing also contained a more severe narcotic.”

Holy jeeze! What could it have been? Cocaine? When this kid does up drug brownies, he really does up drug brownies. I’m surprise the platter he used wasn’t just heroin molded into a shape of a platter for smuggling purposes.

And why am I being told that this kid is going to long-term? I’m not sure that’s the appropriate destination. I mean the kid did slip a whole class with who knows how much drugs. I don’t know, how about going to jail?

With that kind of justice, where's Charles Bronson when you need him?