Christ-mess

My students may be perverts and sexually irresponsible with their jokes about their junk and dressing improperly, but dang it, at least they’re festive in December. Instead of the usual sexual references I find during the previous eleven months, I’m experiencing more holiday-friendly behavior. I just used the term friendly for this blog.

Yes, this is the time of the year where I get to witness renditions of Jingle Balls and I Saw Your Mom Kissing Santa’s Nut Sack. Why just yesterday two young men were commenting on how much eggnog one girl could hold in her chests. At least that’s what I gathered by watching them cupping and squeezing their imaginary breasts. Either that or the girl they were referencing carried two drinking gourds hanging from her neck.

Others adorn themselves with such outfits like sweatpants with Naughty Or Nice emblazoned on the ass or t-shirts with an arrow pointing to the crotch with the words Stocking Stuffer. And don’t assume the boys are wearing one and the girls are wearing another. They’re wearing both.

It’s everywhere. Heck, even one of my kids approached a female student of mine with, “Girl, my oil lasts eight days!” Great. Now I have the consult the district’s religious holiday calendar to keep tabs on the sexual harassment in this school.