Let them eat cake!

So it was another English teacher’s birthday yesterday. You already know how I feel about faculty birthdays, especially with the cards. The good birthdays, though, are the ones when there is a cake. I mean who doesn’t like cake? Who doesn’t like free cake?!

The answer to that may be this guy right here. Such a treat may be ruined for me, and here’s why. This one teacher was going on and on about how delicious the cake was. She was so enthusiastic about the thing that she was trying to force feed it to me, “Here, you have to try this.”

I’m a grown ass man. Why would I would I be down with someone wanting to feed me? I was half expecting her to make freakin’ airplane sounds and tell me to open the hanger.

To make things worse, it was a piece that she had just taken a bite out of, slobbery teeth, marks and all. It was a sheet cake. Do you know what it means to have a sheet cake? Typically that means you have way more cake than there are mouths, so there’s no need to trade off on the same piece. All I can say is thank God that we weren’t having birthday suckers.