Thursday, November 02, 2006

There's no need to beat around the bush.

If reincarnation exists, then PR executives have come back as administrators. How else could you explain their carefully crafted, neutrally toned e-mails?

For instance, when a senior prank involved TPing the cypress trees in front of the school, the official e-mail from Pécan asked for anyone who witnessed, "the spirited decoration." Why couldn't he just ask for, "the guilty jack-a-ninnies," instead? That way I wouldn't have to break out my administrator decoder ring.

It's not just Pécan doing this either. Once in an e-mail Hammer asked for us to keep an eye out for those who are, "reorganizing the restroom supplies." It took me half a day plus a consultation with the school custodial staff to decipher that as, "ripping the toilet seats of the commodes."

If a kid's gone missing, then don't ask us to report on any "independently relocated members of the SLHS family." Tell us to, "lock down the jack-a-ninnies," or "take a count of your jack-a-ninnies," or "round up your jack-a-ninnies." Essentially, just make sure you use the term, "jack-a-ninnies."

That will improve communication by at least 50%.

Atom XML

My site was nominated for Best Education Blog!
My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!

[ Recent Posts ]

~Self-inflicted Womb


~Getting jiggy-saw with it.

~Mum's the word.

~Vote or Die

~Isn't that a-door-able?

~Float This

~Run Away From Homecoming

~The Substitute Who Went Above and Beyond

~The New Frontier

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. That's our story and we're sticking to it.