Self-inflicted Womb

I just found out that one of our teachers in the department is pregnant and I'm suspicious. No, I'm not talking about a secret affair with the guy that stocks the vending machines or anything like that. Get your heads out of the gutter. I'm suspicious about her motive for getting pregnant at the time that she did.

Let me explain...

At first one thinks, "Hey it was the summer when she actually gets to see her husband. And see him she did--wink, wink." But this teacher did something that makes me think otherwise. It was the first thing she said after she announced that she was pregnant at lunch today and everyone gave their congratulations. She said, "And that means I'll miss the last two weeks of school."

I'll say it; I believe she got pregnant so she didn't have to be here for the end of the year. Think about it. That's the worst time of the year. You're trying to cram everything in from lessons to grades. It's a nightmare. No one wants it. So this teacher, being the cagey veteran that she is, decided to bypass it this year by getting pregnant.

I can't blame her. Heck, I'm jealous. I wish I could get pregnant. Unfortunately, my options are a little more risky.

throwing myself down the stairs...

losing an appendage...

coma...