Hell-o-ween

Just after 1st period I can see that this October 31st will be no different than the other Halloweens.

Student A: Why do we have to have a quiz today. It's Halloween.

Me: Halloween comes and goes, but your education will always be an issue. I'm not sure if you can take that as a consolation prize...

Student B (interrupting): We get prizes!?

Student A: Is the prize candy?

Me: No, there are no prizes. There is no candy.

Student C: Can we eat candy during the quiz?

Me: You're eating candy right now!

Student B: Come on, it's Halloween.

Me: You guys eat candy all the time.

Student C: Oh, did you want some? Here.

Me: Well, maybe just a piece won't--No! Now, wait. I don't want any candy. And I don't want you guys to have it either.

Student A: Right--because it could have needles in it.

Student C: Like this one Halloween, my cousin's best friend, ate a Snickers with a razor blade in it and it sliced his throat open, and now when he chews gum, he blows bubbles through his neck hole.

Me: Now come on. That didn't happen.

Student B: If this Twix punctures my lung then do we have to take the quiz?

Me (after a long sigh): Yes, if the Twix punctures your lung, then we will cancel the qui--please, stop jabbing him with the Twix bar.