Meet me at the Cess-Pole.

So I got this flyer in my box today. On bright yellow paper. With happy faces bordering the message. It read:

:) Greetings friends! :)

I hope that this memo finds everyone doing well :) and that you are not letting the end of the six weeks grading frenzy get you down in the dumps... :(

I would like to formally extend an invitation to the entire faculty to Join Us at The Pole to celebrate Jesus and His Word tomorrow morning at 6:45. We will be meeting at flagpole directly in front of the Robber Baron >: statue. :) :)

Christians all over the country and across faiths will be joining hands :) to celebrate :) Christ's astounding message. :)

I hope :) to see :) you all there... :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Uh, no thank you. Don't get me wrong, I believe in Jesus... He must be real. After all, I walk out of my classroom alive everyday with a fresh perspective and a new story.

And it's not so much that I'm frowning on the 6:45am wakeup call either. You guys remember that Army slogan, "We do more before 9:00 than most people do all day"? Well, you and I know that teachers are not "most" people.

No, the least appetizing thing in that flyer was the idea of holding hands with the kids. I already rock that bottle of Germ-X in the teachers' bathroom pretty hard, so why would I expose myself to more diseases?

Yes, I know that Jesus mingled with the lepers. But his dad is the Alpha and the Omega, my dad was an accountant at Ernst & Young for 36 years.

:)