The Flight of the Intruder

Drop the balloons and confetti because we got our first intruder e-mail. I though it would never come. You know what I'm talking about--Where you get a mass e-mail from an administrator telling you, "to be on the look-out for a dark to light skinned female with manly features between 5'2"-6'8" wearing shoes and has a visitor's tag on," or something of that nature.

So let me get this straight. I'm supposed to keep an eye out for a woman (or a man), with non-descript features, possibly with a visitor's tag, while teaching class? No problem.

Now I know that the students' safety is no laughing matter, but the administration's efforts sometimes just do give me a chuckle.

We may have had to wait a while for our first intruder e-mail, but it was worth it. Today we're supposed to be on the look-out for a woman in a nurse's uniform claiming to be on campus to fit a child for a prosthetic arm. When asked the child's name, she just turned around and left without saying a word.

What a crappy cover story. I mean she started out great with a nurse's uniform. I mean who isn't going to trust a nurse?

But, "I'm here to measure for a fake arm?" "I don't have a name, but...." I mean, come on.

"It's so crazy that it has to be true," doesn't always work. The only way she could have done worse was to show up in a nun's habit and say she was here for the exorcism.

The ironic thing is that she needed to get her hands on one of my kids, so she could learn how lie.

I mean it. They keep me on my toes.

"Didn't you get the bell schedule change? My Algebra teacher read it off her e-mail. We're supposed to get out five minutes early for the assembly. What? You didn't get that one either? Yeah, I think she got an e-mail from the IT department saying that there were some problems with the e-mail server."

You see?! That's believable. We have e-mail troubles all the time. A lie like that would at least make me flinch for at least a half of a second.