Monday, September 28, 2009

Q and A-holes

Another open house came and went, and with it I discovered the question that I hate most of all. I’m talking about hate. I hate it even more than, “Are you ready to be shot in the kneecap?” And to make things worse is that every parent was asking it.

How’s my kid going to do this year?

What kind of question is that? Do I bring news from the future? Did I appear in the room in a ball of electricity, naked, and squatting down a la The Terminator? They obviously aren’t asking for an actual prediction. Who in their right mind would expect that? No I believe there is something implied like, “My kid better get a good grade this year.”

It was real slick; I tell you. Let me give it a try:

“Is your kid going to stop blowing off my assignments and doing her pre-cal homework in my class?”

“Is he going to stop leaning over at quizzes? Because he sucks at it.”

“How’s your kid going to do this year?”

I guess I’m not as subtle, huh? Really, I wouldn’t care so much if the question came with a folded-up twenty-dollar bill. I mean it. What happened to the heyday of payola?

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