Monday, September 21, 2009

A Nose for News

The journalism teacher sent out an email asking us to keep an eye out for a red penlight with a flash drive attached to it. She had saved the articles for this year’s first edition of the school paper on the drive. She is obviously desperate to get it back.

Good news, I found it. In the spirit of journalism, I will now reveal the facts with the five W’s.

Who: The kid whose go-to jack-a-ninny move is sticking binder clips on his fingers and wiggling them like he’s playing the air piano. I call him “Edward Idiothands.”

What: Making his nostrils glow by putting the penlight portion of the penlight/flash drive up his nose.

When: In the middle of the class looking at sample writings on the overhead. With the lights out he looks like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Where: In one of the front row seats, thus enhancing that whole Rudolph thing.

Why: It beats me. If I were to guess the worst, then I would say that he already had something up his butt.

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