Excuses me?

Man, I’ve got this one kid I call, Excuse Super. You know how building superintendents have those giant key rings with every single key that works in the building, right? Well this kid is armed with excuses like they hang from one of those gigantic rings. If the excuse doesn’t work, then shuffle on to another one until you get one that does.

In a single conversation about him sleeping during class he revealed some of the following:

He ate too much at lunch.

This was second period.

It wasn’t him.

Am I supposed to believe that he was entangled in some sort of conspiracy? I bet the mafia had a part in it. Ooh, I know—a second snorer on the grassy knoll!

He didn’t know that he couldn’t sleep in class.

If that’s the case, then I didn’t know I couldn’t poke my kids in the eye for saying stupid stuff.

It went on and on. He just fired off one silly reason after another. Some of them he didn’t even wait for a rebuttal and just moved on to the next attempt.

It’s my new medication; it’s so dark in here; I was praying; I’m off my medication….

By that point I think he was just trying to wear me down. Hey! Now I have an excuse to go to sleep.