Can’t Keep Your Plant Food Down

I had my first pregnant student experience of the year. She’s not in my class. I witnessed her actions in the hallway between classes. I thought things got crazy in the halls during class, but this one trumps it all.

To spruce up the place, the school has blanketed the campus with potted plants. I’ve got a feeling that these things won’t make it through the first grading period. I got my first inkling when this pregnant girl, walking with her friend, stopped in front of one of the plants and vomited on it. She, and who I’m hoping is not the future Godmother, then turned to one another and started laughing.

Uh okay, embarrassment can lead to giggles—I get that—but mommy then wiped her vomit-stache on her sleeve, and the two headed to the nearby vending machine to buy some Twix. They then scooted off sharing the treat, still chuckling.

I think she’s going to be a fantastic mother—not worrying about the mess, foregoing cleaning herself up, joyfully sharing food right after. What’s not to like? The whole thing made me want to vomit, but there wasn’t a plant close by.

The two were around the corner and gone, by the time my shock wore off. On top of that, I had to get back to my room for my next class, so I had no choice but to pass this off to the front office. I had just enough time to pop my head in and tell the secretary the incident. She rolled her eyes and responded with, “Okay, we’ll put out an APB for a pregnant girl with cookie bar, stomach acid breath.”

Man, I sure do hope she’s the only one they find fitting that description.