Mission Statement Impossible

We've be working on the "new" mission statement the past three years. That's right SLHS has been sans mission statement for three years, and we’ve been having all these freakin’ meetings for it. How hard could it be to come up with a mission statement for my school?

The mission of Springwood Lakes High School is to...

...cram an ocean's worth of knowledge into thimble size, developing, teenage brains.

...fall asleep at 2am while grading papers in bed for students that fall asleep at their desks.

...to not give students lower than a 50.

In all seriousness the administration needs to know that the faculty doesn't need to take ownership of the mission statement. There's no need for me to be at so many mission statement meetings, when there's so much more that I could be doing. I don't care what management book they just finished reading. The statement means nothing. If it did, then how did we graduate three year's worth of seniors without one? But, there are these pocket factions of teachers who want to analyze every single word, as if no student will ever learn if the statement is not perfect. There are votes, amendments and more votes until one doesn't even know what they are voting for anymore.

To prove my point even further, go to your current teacher of the year and ask her to recite the mission statement.