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Friday, January 18, 2008

A Laborious Effort

Okay, maybe I’m writing about this topic today because I’m a single dude and most likely will never procreate, but why am I being asked to buy baby shower gifts? Let me explain.

One of the counselors thought it would be a good idea to see a fellow teacher off, who is about to go on maternity leave, in style. See a portion of her e-mail below:

As her SLHS Family, I think it would be nice if we would send her off with some gifts of preparedness in order to show her how much we love and support her.

My question is when am I going to get my pregnancy party? What? I don’t get one just because I don’t have ovaries? That doesn’t seem fair. Shoot, I don’t even get a party if I knock someone up. Just ask the married male teachers; they don’t get anything when their wives become pregnant. Why is that? It’s not like it is needed any less.

Yes, I’m having a little fun with this, but you would complain, too, if you saw the list of gifts we were instructed to get, which, if you ask me, kind of takes away from the idea of a gift—something with some thought put to it. Where does she get off not only telling me what to do, but what to get too?

Fine Arts
Bottles, onesies, pacifiers, socks, burp cloths, and blankets

Health/ PE
Diapers (Huggies or Pampers-Newborn or Size 1)

Science
Bottles, onesies, pacifiers, socks, burp cloths, and blankets

Math
Diapers (Huggies or Pampers-Newborn or Size 1)

RELA/ESL
Baby shampoo, baby wash, baby soap, baby lotion, baby oil, wash cloths, baby powder, grooming supplies

Social Studies
Diaper wipes, Diaper Rash Cream (Desitin Creamy, Mr Smith's, Boudreaux's Buttpaste)

Electives (Career Investigations, Foreign Language, Foods for Today, Journalism, Industrial Technology, Etc.)
Baby shampoo, baby wash, baby soap, baby lotion, baby oil, wash cloths, baby powder, grooming supplies

Special Ed.
Diaper wipes, Diaper Rash Cream (Desitin Creamy, Mr Smith's, Boudreaux's Buttpaste)

Office/Library/ Support Services
Giftcards to Target or Toys-R-Us

Shoot, we gave less to Katrina victims, but we’re supposed to back the truck up for a woman who drives an Escalade?

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