Set Amidrift

It looks like Hammer is getting more responsibility this year. Maybe she’s a real go getter; maybe she’s being groomed by Pécan; who knows. Anyway, evidence of the increased role came in the form of facilitating the annual Welcome Back to School, Students. Let’s Have a Reminder on Policy assembly.

Wanting to put her own mark on the event, Hammer tried to “hip” things up. First, there was the frequent use of “You Dig?” after reviewing each major issue with her power point for the school’s handbook. Way to go. The only chance she had of being relevant was if there was a time shift.

Then Hammer MC’d a dress code violation pageant where other administrators modeled. The school’s athletic director came across the stage with his abdomen exposed. He was there for the emphasis that bare midriffs are not allowed. Yes, it was funny to see a grown-ass man dressed the way he was, but what sent me outside to wail in hysteria was the fact that “MIDDRIFT” was scrawled on his wobbly belly. Maybe there was a legitimate excuse for the extra ‘D’—like the needed more letters to cover his middle-aged physique. I don’t know.

What I do know is that when I gained enough composure to go back into the auditorium, I walked in on Hammer's parody of that Soulja Boy song.

Student boy up in dis whoa
I’ll be clean and I’ll not mock
Student boy dat whoa
Then watch me clean after shop