Head and Shoulders Above the Rest

There’s not much to report today. Oh, except for the gas leak yesterday. I know that sounds like something important, but it turns out that we were never in harm’s way.

At least I think that was the case. The only email we got from Hammer was that “the school [was] in no dander.” Hey, everyone makes mistakes. I do. It’s just that the chances for misspelling a word tends to diminish when you change the font to red, all caps, bold and underline it.

Listen up, Madison Avenue! This could be your chance to push shampoo on an entirely new demographic—the gas leak free.

"I never knew you had volatile compounds."
“Twice the zinc pyrithione, zero methane.”
“Use Prell and you won’t blow up.”

Hey, if Coke is going to teach the world to sing, then why can’t that last one be true?