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When you’re a teacher, you develop some unique abilities. They just develop over time. It’s kind of like computer programmers being able to read binary. Speaking of mechanical things, one common ability is being able to speak Scantron machine. By the very rat-tat-tats the machine makes to mark the wrong answers as you pass the test through, you can get an idea of how a class did. It’s spooky. After a while you can even tell the exact grade a student got in each staccato. You don’t even have to look at the test.

...Rat-tat-tat-tat-Rat-tat-tat...

A, C, D, D…

Rat-tat-tat-tat

Ooh, an 89. So close.

There’s more. To the untrained ear, the machine sounds like just some random beeps, but to the teacher details are revealed. So maybe our ability is a lot more like how a sommelier can get very specific about a wine, where for the rest of us wine just taste sweet or tart.

…Rat-Tat-Tat-Rat-Tat-Tat-Tat-Tat-Rat-Tat-Tat-Rat…

Did you here that? The first test that went through and the sixth test that went through—do those students happen to sit next to one another? I thought so. They clearly cheated off one another.

…Rat-tat-tat-Rat-Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat…

Of course, someone’s trying to spell ‘FART’ with the bubbling again.