Fiddle me this, Hobo Teacher...

I’ve talked about this kid before. A kid that I’ve nicknamed, Nervousness. Let me tell you; that kid has been on a roll lately.

It’s been kind of my fault, though. When we lost Dr. Swain, I went to his classroom to give my condolences… and to see if he had anything to give away. What are you looking at? We must mourn and then move on. Such is the World of Education.

Anyway, I got his touch lamp, and Nervousness must have seen me turn it on because he’s been all over the thing this week.

On
Brighter
Brightest
Off

On
Brighter
Brightest
Off

On
Brighter
Brightest
Off

He could have hypnotized me into thinking that I was naked if he wanted; the strobing was that overwhelming. Instead, with each tap of the lamp, he shared all the trivia in his noggin’, whether it was accurate or not.

“Did you know that Edgar Allan Poe had a meth lab in his basement?”

“Hillary Duff is actually older than Haley Duff.”

“Reading e-mails can give you cancer. They did a study.”

“It’s illegal in Spain to say, ‘God bless you,’ when somebody sneezes.”

“I heard that bats smell with their feet.”

“If you play Smell Like Teen Spirit backwards, Kurt Cobain says, “Courtney did it.” My friend’s older brother’s roommate played it Halloween last year and now he can’t hear anymore.”

“Bananas feel pain. They did a study.”

I’m half-tempted to let him carry on with this until he runs out of ridiculous things to say. Now that’s a study, if I’ve ever heard one.