Monday, January 29, 2007

I demand a re-FUND raiser!

Ah, another day teaching Juniors, another interruption. As you know, 11th graders' class time is constantly being interrupted for preparation issues concerning their senior year. And of course, this is done during English because every student has English. I can't get two lessons in without being interrupted. If it's not a class ring assembly, then it’s a showcase of the Spring musical. If it’s not PSAT informational meetings, then it’s school pictures. I could go on and on, but I won't... as soon as I bitch about today that is.

Today, the volunteer moms come in to introduce to the kids the—Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bah—Prom fundraiser!

Now, for those of you who feel that I'm just being callus and need to understand that Prom is a monumental moment in a kid's life, I comprehend this. Trust me, I wouldn't have said anything because, like I said, we get interruptions all the time. I would have been alright with everything, if, the VM's hadn't come in blowing a whistle like it was Mardi Gras and singing, For the Love of Money by The O’Jays . You know:

Money, money, money, money--mon-ney

For that I must vent.

The fundraiser works like this. The juniors (the same kids who won't even bring textbooks to class) are to go out and sell magazine subscriptions. For every ten subscriptions (Ten sales! I can’t even get them to read ten pages) they get a Baron Bracelet. Baron Bracelets are those knock-off versions of the Livestrong ones, but are in the school colors instead. Hey, if you can't bogart from a non-profit organization, whose goal is to eliminate the number two killer in the nation, then really who can you bogart from?

At the end of the two weeks, students' names will be entered into various drawings, based on their sales. For example, those with 30 sales will be eligible for a free limo. Twenty-five sales is a tuxedo rental. I think it's a corsage at 20 and so on. This is all fine and dandy; except for the fact that in the years that I've been here, I've never seen a student sell over eight subscriptions.

Don't worry, the VM’s have come up with an igneous way to combat this. Every once and a while they'll come into my room, blowing that dang whistle, and try to scare the students by reminding them that if they don't sell enough magazine subscriptions, then they run the risk of having Prom in the gym, instead of the usual fancy hotel.

One—-that’s never happened.

And two—-it’s gotten to the point that the dance is the least important thing to these kids.

Now, if you’ll excuse me; I have to pick up all the fundraiser handouts that the students threw on my floor the second the VM’s gave them out.

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