I can a-TEST to that.

I do have to give the administration credit. At least they scheduled state standardized practice testing during a short week. I hate it when we have those things that last three or four days because the kids are spent afterwards, so you might as well shut it down for the rest of the week. So, way to go administration!

Now for my complaints:

Hammer sent out an e-mail reminding us to stay off the computers at all times. She even suggested that we don't even turn our computers on in the morning, so as not to have temptation. I walk you through this because for someone so fanatical about staying off computers her next point of business didn't quite make sense. It went something like this:

"In an attempt to not disturb the students during testing, all communication will go through school e-mail, so be alert."

Uh, okay. I'm confused. Will she get upset if we're on or not on the computers? Maybe it's a riddle, like one of those that the blind monks give in the martial arts movies from the 70's.

"To truly be on a computer doesn't mean the computer must be activated."

Thanks, Kung Fu...

Hammer finished her e-mail by informing us that the school had gotten its hands on copies of one of those TV news magazines, reporting on the issue of cheating in high schools and universities being on the rise and how it was being done.

Uh, no thank you. I have no interest in showing kids how they can get away with cheating because that is what would happen.

You see, they can read "The Crucible" a thousand times and never walk away with learning anything. That's because they have no interest in dying for their beliefs. What they are interested in is getting an "A" in physics.

Plus, let's not forget that the school has just beat them with tests for four days straight. No, this is one week where my kiddos can put their heads on their desks and dream of cheating.