R.I.P. for the Ph.D.

Well there has been some change at SLHS since we left for the winter break. Yes the decorations are gone, but so is Dr. Swain. Dr. Swain is (was) the American literature AP teacher. He had only been with us for the semester. You'd think that a guy with his Ph.D. would last longer, but he didn't. The reason--zero years of teaching experience.

It came to Pécan's attention that this newbie was using the exact tests from SparkNotes for his exams. Are you kidding me? That's one step away from calling out the answers during the test. If the kids are going to read anything at all, then it's those supplements. Heck, if there's a movie on the book, then those don't even get read.

And who knows how Pécan found out about this. Heaven knows the students didn't tell him. I'm sure they were all, "Jeez Dr. Swain, this test sure is hard. Your tests sure are challenging!" There's no chance in heck they threw away that lifeline.

Maybe Swain was just desperate for his students to do well, so that he could make that good first impression. He certainly set it up so that there would be astronomical grades. I don't see how he could have improved their scores anymore than he did. I guess he could have put questions on there addressing topics that teenagers already had a thorough knowledge of--like--identifying what is "gay", or how to watch scrambled porn, or the tell-tale characteristics of $120 jeans, or...