I guess the other 364 are "Oppress the Administrative Assistant" Days.

I have to pass through the front office to get to my mailbox, and I noticed two things this morning. One was the sullen expression on the secretaries' faces and the other was a new posting on the office bulletin board. It was a list called "Office Rules of Etiquette."

People, this sucker had forty rules on it. Forty. So much for the "keep it simple, stupid" rule of classroom (or office) management. Ya' know, God only needed ten rules. But, I guess that math makes sense to me, because sometimes I think the administration believes that it is four times more important. If I posted forty rules for my students in my classroom, then I would be reprimanded for setting implausible standards.

Now some of you may say, "But many times rules are set in place to address current problems." Well if that's true here with our three, matronly grandmother-esque secretaries, then let's see what they've been up to.

#06--No shouting.

#17--Television volumes must be kept at a minimum.

#21--Stow all helmets out of walking paths.

#29--No viewing of sexually explicit websites on office computers allowed.

#34--All facial piercings must be removed during school hours.

Yeah, I don't think that the front office has ever been plagued by such events.

The list wasn't a joke either because Pécan sent out an e-mail to the teachers informing us that it would be in our best interest to report any front office infractions witnessed immediately.

What? Seriously? You want me to narc on the secretaries in the front office? That's in my job description now?

Of course, his plan isn't fool proof. I mean, what if I see the secretaries snorting coke off piles of hookers? That's not on the list (as my students are so fond of pointing out)!