Ah, it must be the end of the year.

I present to you, Hobo Teacher One Person Theatre:

"Hi! I'm 'Pain in the Ass' Parent. My kid is failing your class. Why am I just finding out about this? Blah, blah, blah..."

"Oh wait, I know this one. Don't tell me. Uh, because you don't take an interest in your kid's life. Because you see nothing ludicrous in the fact you're looking at a report card for the first time in March. Because you won't return my phone calls--and e-mails--or letters. Because you're a lifelong enabler. Am I getting close?"

"Well, I was an English minor in college and--"

"Really? My dad juggles. He never taught me, but I've seen him do it. I know, let's see if I can juggle. I'm going to put down the phone for a second, so hold on--. Nope, no good. Stuff went everywhere. Hello? Hello? We must have gotten disconnected."

This concludes another edition of Hobo Teacher One Person Theatre. Tune in next week for "The Jock That Used Girls."