The Sign of the Teacher

On the radio I heard that in Japan, the mobsters (Yakuza) are reaching retirement age. So, if they can prove they were really gangsters (gang tattoos, cut off finger), they will receive government subsidized medical benefits.

I wonder if teachers were in the same predicament, then what would we have to show? I mean essentially we have teaching-specific tattoos, right?. You know what I'm talking about--ink hand--that permanent stain on the side of our hands. We all got that. We could be missing a finger too. With all of that paper cutting going on, there's had to be some fingers lost.

If that's not enough evidence, then how about flashing some of these tell-tale signs:

Permanent bags under the eyes

White out in the hair

Random red marks on fingers and face

Pencil lead embedded in the face from errant pencils thrown across the room, right before the test is about to start ("Yo, Bobby! Can I borrow a pencil?" "Yeah--Heads up!" THWACK! "Ow! My eye, you jerk!")

Thumbtack puncture wounds on the buttocks (especially common with substitute teachers)

Paper cut scars

Glue face

Bad posture from being repeatedly, metaphorically (and occasionally, literally) punched in the gut

Pavlovian crying fits every time a bell rings

Oh yeah--and post-traumatic stress disorder--almost forgot that one

These are the things that I think about. Hey, it's better than contemplating about how Japan takes better care of its gangsters, than the US does its teachers.