Thursday, April 13, 2006

I can't wait for season two!

Have you guys seen this show, Teachers., on NBC? Every week America gets to tune in and experience the other side of teachers' lives. I didn't really know what the other side was until I sat a spell and partook of the wonder that is Teachers. The first scene I witnessed involved two teachers interrupting a geometry class with an errant ball from their indoor golf game (I could not distinguish if it was a game of mini-golf or a 98 yard par 3 they were working on). The two teachers then began to insult the third for two minutes while the kids just sat there. The kids were like scenery or something. They remained perfectly still while only their eyes moved left, right, left, doing their best to follow the verbal barbs. Yup, that's just like my 3rd period.

The whole thing was like watching a blackface minstrel show, but for teachers. I'm surprised no one said, "I don't no nothin' 'bout teachin' no babies. Oh tay."

The most unrealistic thing was that one of the teachers was wearing an expensive leather jacket. Yeah, right.

After the golf game, the teachers worked on devising a plan to disrupt the activities of the curriculum advisor (the woman that didn't go out drinking with them on Tuesdays), so that they wouldn't have to do any work. If you ask me, there was no need for a laugh track.

Another scene had a hot substitute bring a beer to Mr. Leather Jacket 30 seconds after the final bell. This must happen often because he removed the cap with a bottle opener attached to his desk (I have to get one of those for the next time I confiscate a six pack during homeroom). Some witty banter is exchanged between the two until we cut to the two in bed agreeing that they won't ever see each other again because--get it--she's a substitute.

I don't know how the whole thing ended because I had to go and get money from one of my schoolyard hoes, so that I could do some coke off the Mona Lisa that I stole last night.

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