Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Hellways

I hate my planning period. I might as well not have one. I'm not complaining about the time of it either. It could be at any time and I would dread it because I'm a virtual prisoner in my room. No, it's not because I'm stuck playing phone tag with parents, who will eventually just ask me if their kid can have an extension on an assignment. Nor is it because I'm busy searching for the sources of my students' cut and paste jobs.

Actually, it's what's outside my room that keeps me in. Have you ever been out there while classes are in session? There is debris everywhere, a couple of lights are always flickering and then there are the noises. There's nothing worse than hearing a sound and you can't see the source.


A locker slams from one of the adjacent hallways.

A walkie-talkie screeches. Sczshhh! "We have a 502 in the commons." Sczshhh!

What's a 502?! I'm near the commons. Should I run? Play dead? What's a 502?!

Then you have those darting students from the adjacent hallways. Either they are running to a class because they're late, or they're running away from something (like a 502). Are they hostiles or friendlies?! How can you tell?! It's like I'm looking for a Black Hawk in the middle of Mogadishu circa 1993.

As a matter of fact, I think that they should have one of those police academy training courses as part of our teacher certification. You know, the ones where the cardboard cut-outs jump out and you have decide if you're supposed to shoot them or not. Except ours would have a school theme. For example, if a kid pulling a rolling bag full of books pops up, then he's just a nerd, so stand down.

Until they come up with something like that, I'll just wait in my little hole until it's dark out. At least I know there are only vampires out there, then.

Of course, I'm not sure how I'm going to get all of my photocopying done.

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