We're looking for a few warm bodies

I was sifting through the bus depot's lost and found department last night (found me a sweet pair of sunglasses--only missing one lens). While there, I was stopped in my tracks by a series of advertisement posters. It was a teacher recruitment campaign. I'm sure you've seen similar attempts around your town. They're pretty standard no matter where you are. They pull at the heart strings and usually have some heart shaped face peering up at you, longingly, yearning to learn, accompanied by your standard sappy copy. Or, maybe they have some witty or heartfelt message, cleverly enticing you to leave your well-paying job which, don't forget, doesn't require you to take grading to bed.

Whatever type of ad happens to frequent your neighborhood, the fact of the matter is plain to see: Apparently, in case you haven't heard, they're not exactly lining up in droves to answer the call of the educator. Funny. I never see any ads imploring people to become lawyers (A sad face pleading, "Won't you be my personal injury attorney?")

This series of posters in the bus depot, recruiting for the local district, were not atypical.

You remember your first grade teacher's name. Who will remember yours?

My students would remember my name--if it were, "Mister". "Mister, can we watch a movie today?" "Mister, can we listen to our headphones?" Tangent: How come they never ask permission to go to sleep in my class?

Power lunch: brown bag with the debate team.

The team is full of nerds; there's no debating that. Seriously, have you ever experienced teenagers that feel that they are superior in the area of reason? They handle sex better.

What do you call a room full of authors, inventors, and explorers? Your first period class.

Yeah? Well, what do you call a room full of slackers, narcissists, and liars? Oh yeah! That's seventh period.

Can you tell that I needed this spring break?