Give Me a B! Give Me an O!

Letter jackets are being recalled due to a defect with the sleeves. Someone will be collecting them during all the lunches. Students will then wait for them to be mailed to them over the summer. That way they can start next year with a jacket sans defect.

I can tell you flat out that I don’t envy the job of collecting those things. It’s not because it has to be a pain in the butt to make sure you have the right addresses for all of those things. I’m talking about the smell of those things. Let’s face it: Letter jackets from teenagers are exactly air fresheners. No, in fact they’re the opposite. They’re regular B.O. archives. They’re Sniffsonians!

Anyway, if those things need to be recalled then it needs to be for the nicknames that these kids put on their jackets.

Spank Bank
One-Eyed Worm
Sizzurp
Knockers
Ef It
C Tease
Third Leg

The list goes on.

Really, I know they’re jack-a-ninnies. Do they need to advertise it on their clothes like sponsors do on soccer uniforms in Europe as well? At the very least, the person in charge of letter jackets needs to be a bit more on top of teenager euphemisms.