Ninety-Nine Red Buffoons

A teacher has asked for assistance on sponsoring a club. Are there any guesses to what kind of club it is? I mean perhaps there has been an attendance explosion for chess. Heck, it could be a club that logistically requires more than one pair of eyes, like the Hide-and-Go-Seek club. Yes, we have one of those.

No, we’re talking about the Balloon Animal club. That’s right, the Balloon Animal club. Now I’m all for encouraging kids’ interests and foster learning, but who needs help sponsoring a balloon animal club? What’s involved? It could be that the teacher is an asthmatic, I guess.

I don’t know if you know this, but there are certain requirements to get a club started. I wonder what that little old charter looked like:

Club Name:

I first called it the “What Club,” as in, “You want to do the WHAT club?”

Purpose of Club:

I ask myself the same thing.

Goals and Objectives:

Personally, I just don’t want to strangle anyone.

Organization of the Club:

Is “ass backwards” an organizational scheme?

Sponsor’s Name:

That would be Mud.

Meeting Location and Dates:

The room emitting my cries of despair one day a week too many

I don’t know. This sounds like a case of some teacher trying to pawn off a club on someone. They probably agreed to sponsoring the club without realizing what they got themselves into. They’re about six weeks in, and I bet you the kids are still doing wiener gags with the balloons, and I guarantee that they would be snickering to the fact that I just said, “wiener gags.”