Crotchety Old Man

Spring Break not only marks the beginning of the home stretch, but it is also the beginning of rumor season, specifically rumors about next year. This is where we hear stories about changes in room assignments, policies, and whatnot.

One rumor I caught wind of was that the high schools were going to adopt the middle schools’ practice of combating baggy pants that sit below a student’s buttocks. The teacher pulls them up and zip ties a few belt loops together so that the pants can’t journey south of the border again.

Two things:

First, I can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a story about teacher/student sexual misconduct. With that said, I have no interest in becoming a romance novel description.

His fingers caressed the loops as they hovered just above the groin and pulled tight.

The second thing also deals with the groin. Why would I want to even get close to a teenager’s groin? The toxicity levels alone would kill me! I’d have to send a canary down there first to see if the air was poisonous!