Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Shut the fulk up, azlow!

So I’ve got the kids in small groups doing work because you’re a bad teacher if you don’t put them in small groups, evidently. At least that’s what I read in all the teaching books. Plus, when else are the few students in your class, who give a crap, going to carry the workload of multiple jack-a-ninnies? All sarcasm aside, if they keep uping my class size to a now-record-breaking 42 students, then what constitutes a small group? Nine? Ten? I don’t even think our freshman basketball team has that many players on the roster.

Okay, maybe I didn’t put all sarcasm aside.

Anyway, as I was walking around the room and monitoring the groups, and it sounded like this one kid in one of the groups was just cursing like it was nothing. Naturally, I had to go investigate.

“What are you saying?”

“What do you mean?”

“It sounds like you’re cursing.”

“No, I said her idea, ‘sucked donkey dilks.’”


“It’s not a curse word, so it’s okay.”

“What? No. No it’s not. It’s not okay to supplement your swearing with words you create that sound awfully similar to the original.”

He gave me a blank stare as the word supplement tumbled around in his head.

To clear things up I went on to say, “It’s not okay to almost swear in here either, especially when being critical towards a fellow classmate.”

“What? She shouldn’t care because technically I didn’t say anything. Like I could say shrit or tlits or pemis.”

The kid actually took the semantics defense with his faux swearing. It was like Dr. Seuss mated with Johnny Cochran and he was the product or something!

“Well, I tell you what. When I write you up I won’t do it on the official form to be given to your associate principal. That way you won’t technically be in any trouble, right?”

He just rolled his eyes, but it would have been hilarious if he responded with, “You’re shritting me, right?”

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