Thursday, January 08, 2009

Let’s go to the tape.

One of my students has a new girlfriend. I know this because he commandeered my tape dispenser to do a little home laminating on a picture that she gave him. The kid had a concentration like laying the tape on this photograph was his life’s work!

Now, I could be wrong about it being his life’s work, but paying attention to the lesson certainly wasn’t. I’m telling you people that I’m getting desperate to capture kids’ attentions these days. My enthusiasm is waning, and now I need some clever tricks to supplement my teaching style.

Maybe I need to take advantage of these rampaging hormones in the air and get me some sexy spokesmodels in the classroom. You know—some cosmetically enhanced bimbo in a bikini dousing herself with a water hose saying, “Nothing makes me hotter than when you read chapters three through five.” For the ladies I can get some shirtless stud in a cowboy hat to ask, “Do you diagram sentences here often?”

Don’t frown. I told you that I’m desperate. Plus, it worked for Wile E. Coyote when he was trying to catch Bugs.

Wait a second….

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