Dead Head

Dead week is over, and it is now finals time. If you ask me that’s an appropriate name for this last week.

My patience is dead. Stop asking me if we have to do anything this week.

My hearing is dead because trust me, this week the kids amp up the stuff that comes out of their mouths. Their filters are completely off (you might say, “dead”). They can never make it to the end of the year. It’s just better to ignore them. You have to pick your battles.

The copy machines are dead with all the tests being photocopied.

As far as passing my class goes, the kids who didn’t do an ounce of work all year, they’re obviously dead.

My computer almost found itself dead, with the Student Support Director (WTF is that?) always sending e-mails on tips to pass along to the kids on how to deal with the stress of finals. We weren't about to have a pencil sharpening relay. Again, WTF?!

Now if you excuse me, I must check on one of the students in my back row. He finished his test super early and his head has been on his desk for the last thirty minutes. I need to see if he’s dead. By the drool flood he’s making, I doubt it.