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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Visitors from Another Planet: Part 2

Just like at the beginning of the year, I've got my former students coming up to the school to visit. Unlike the beginning of the year, many have lost that swagger from five months ago--you know the one, that "just about to start my first year at college" swagger. No longer are they the cock of the walk and they know it.

This one kid even said that his professor scolded him one time with, "You should have learned this in high school," and all he could think of are the countless times he nodded off in my class to a lullaby of "Pay attention because you'll need this in college."

I kind of know what he's talking about because I hear the same thing, time and time again, from them when they come back.

"I'm going to take some time off to find myself."

Oh yeah? I bet, in three months, I'll find you on your parents' couch watching The Cartoon Network.

"I think I'm going to go part-time."

Part-time, huh... well you did half-ass it in my class.

"Maybe I should change majors."

Sure, if you mean from major trouble to major malfunction to major pain in the arse. No, wait. You already tried that one, didn't you?

Hey, don't get me wrong. I'd love to have a session with the kids over some hot chamomile tea and soothe their egos. I understand their apprehension about college and they're future. Look at me. I've got all kinds of schooling and... well... you've read the blog. Sadly though, I'm just a cog in a machine--a machine that spits out last year's students last year. We're on to this year's batch. Welcome to the real world, people. The doctor has slapped you on your butt--now it's time to start growing up.

Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to:

Call 15 parents
Answer 3 school mandated surveys
Go to an orientation meeting for our new insurance carrier
Re-staple my tests, which the volunteer moms botched
Go through my stuffed mail box, which is filled again after I emptied it this morning

All before I pass out from exhaustion.

Notice that "eating" didn't make the list.

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