Big Brother is filling out forms regarding your general whereabouts at all times of the school day.

Got an e-mail from Principal Pécan today.

By now that phrase should make you cringe in front of your computer screen and brace yourself for the coming storm.

The "new" school policy is that anytime a student is sent out into the hallway there must be documentation on the event. Granted, I understand that with the "normal" use of such a policy (discipline problems, etc.) that there is nothing "new" here. This was always supposed to be documented. But the new part of the policy relates to anytime a student is in the hallway, not just discipline issues.

Student making up a quiz? Document it!

Student going to the restroom (they are, after all, passing through the hallway)? Document it!

Student blowing their nose? Document that bad boy! Thankfully there have been no requests, so far, for saving the used tissue as evidence of the documentation.

We could leave it right there and that would be enough, but the e-mail included an attachment. We now have a new form to fill out and submit whenever a student happens to find his or herself in the hallway. I'm hoping and assuming this applies to "only during class time," otherwise I'd be filling out thousands of these things a day.

Don't roll your eyes. I take nothing for granted around here.

I really don't get it. Why don't they just get it over with and inject tracking devices into the students' blood streams. That, or just beat the teachers over the head with a baseball bat. That would be preferable at this point.