Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Safety Dance

Like I said last week, I had to chaperone a school dance this weekend. Now, no matter the dance, there are key posts that teachers have to man. And those are what I call the "keep the kids from wandering through the school" posts. Those are the posts that must keep the kids corralled in the commons area because who knows what they would do if they found a nook, unsupervised.

I don't know about you, but I volunteer for one of these spots every single time. There's no better place to use your smart aleck remarks:

"Hey bud, there are lockers down there. You don't even go to your locker during the day, so you don't need to go now."

"The custodians are the only people that go back here at this time of night and the only mop I see is the one on your head." [That way you can shout, "Get a haircut, ya' hippie!" as they walk away.]

"The difference between you and me is that I don't want to be here and you can't be here. GET!"

"Knock, Knock... Anybody... Anybody that comes over here better high tail it right back from where they came."

"Do you know karate? You don't? Then you must know crazy because you're crazy if you think that you're getting past here." [They usually miss the James Brown reference, which makes it even funnier.]

It's quite cathartic. You should try it.

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