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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Hammering Down: Part Deux

Well, I had my meeting with Hammer to "review"the articles that she gave me. 'Member? Or should I say that I didn't have the meeting...

Let me explain...

I had taken the articles on classroom management that she had left in my box and broke them down to the last detail. I'm talking about color coded highlighting, typed notes--the works. Which is impressive, considering that the articles didn't cover what I experience completely. For example, there was no mention of the kid whose mission in life is to view a lesbian experience. I know this because of his frequent outburts of, "I'll die if I don't see two girls make out soon!" during class (true story). And evidently, after calling home a number of times his father feels that he needs to see the same or his end will soon come too.

Anyway, as I handed the articles back to Hammer during my planning period, telling her that I wished to touch upon the items in green first, she let out a sigh. Stunned, I then watched her drop the articles on her desk without looking at what I had done.

She said, "Look, I don't really want to talk about these. I just wanted to point out that there is plenty of professional development out there that teachers need to stay abreast of. To be honest, I'm a vicious harpy who deserves to have kerosene soaked, flesh eating ants released on me and set on fire while they chew out my neck."

Okay, I don't think she said that last part. I had blacked out fairly early into her speech, and I just assumed that she would have said that next. Really, anymore of my depiction would be fiction, too, since I didn't snap back into reality until I heard her say, "Now if you excuse me. I have another appointment."

I stumbled out of her office, asking myself, "In an effort to improve my work, Hammer expressed that she had no interest in my work?" You don't have to be an overworked high school English teacher to see the irony.

I don't know about you, but I don't think I can take much more of that kind of leadership, and I certainly hope that no one else around here follows suit. I could just see the school dietician spitting in my lunch to emphasize the importance of students, "being aware of what they put into their bodies." Better yet, a bus driver could illustrate that "education begins by getting to school on time," by setting my car on fire.

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All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. That's our story and we're sticking to it.