Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Another First Day, Another Dollar

The first day usually isn't that scary, though I am always ready to beat someone with a chair, in case I have to send a message. You have to establish dominance. That's what the new convict always does on his first day in all those prison movies I've seen.

During First Period only three students showed up, and I spent most of my time in the hallway telling many Seniors that they were in the English wing of the school and that the Science halls have always been on the 2nd floor.

Second Period is my planning period, but I was busy telling kids that came by that my class had the number one next to it and they should have been here an hour ago.

My very first Freshman class ever was Third Period. I'd never seen so much fear of the unknown in my life. They could probably say the same thing about me.

I don't have lunch until after Fourth, which is fine. It's better than having the first lunch period at like 10am. The kids might as well pour syrup on their pizzas.

Fifth Period is never different. You've got pubescent boys, with poor hygiene to begin with, coming to you after Athletics producing a funk that sets your nose hairs on fire.

Things usually slow down by the last two periods because the kids are officially bored with school by then, and I can do the first day rituals in peace. There are class expectations to go over, a student survey to be completed for tomorrow and emergency contact cards that the administration has me pass out for them. With the cards, they have me remind the students that they will not be able to attend school if the cards are not completed and returned. That always coaxes a chuckle out of me because I've known plenty of students that wouldn't exactly be wrestling with their conscience on that whole "may not get to go to school" thing.

Now if you don't mind, I have some surveys and emergency contact cards to pick up off of my floor. I haven't seen this much paper on the ground since New York City welcomed back Neil Armstrong from the moon with a tickertape parade.

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