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Monday, January 02, 2006

Children of the Resolutions

Okay, school's back in and play time is over. It's time to get serious again and what better way than with some Hobo Teacher resolutions?

Here they are:

This year I resolve to not confiscate students' lunches that are "out of code." Usually, I've high-tailed it out of there before they realize that there is no such thing as a lunch which is "out of code."

I will start recycling sticky notes. The adhesive can be used to remove the lint from my clothes. Besides, I might actually have another meeting on April 22nd this year too.

I will stop cruising other teachers' rooms late at night and "borrowing" markers and other supplies from their desks (and you thought the students were stealing your pencils).

I will spend the Wal-Mart gift card given to me for the holidays by the suck up student in 3rd period on something for myself (not the classroom, not the students, but me).

I will not be the last to leave school, nor will I be the first to arrive. Note to self: stop sleeping overnight at the school.

In 2006 I will do less grading. How, when I already assign the minimum number of assignments required by the school district? I will simply make the work twice as difficult, thus discouraging them to turn it in at all. Hobo Teacher Tip #85: It takes very little effort to calculate zeros.

Unfortunately, like all resolutions, I will probably break these in a week and be back to my normal routine. I'll be stood-up for tutorials. I'll toss and turn at night because I'm not quite satisfied with my lesson plans for the next day. My hand will lock-up from all the notes I put on their papers.

What about you guys? What are your resolutions?

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