Pie Don’t Believe It

As you know, I’m not that crazy about e-mails on my work e-mail that go out to the whole school and don’t concern work. The latest involved a proposed pie exchange between teachers before the Thanksgiving break started. This prompted something even worse than a school-wide e-mail. Teachers started discussing the pie exchange via “reply all” responses. Before first period was over my inbox was stuffed like a holiday turkey, except this wasn’t a delicious oyster stuffing, but a mixture of ridiculousness. No, we don’t “need a theme.” Nor does a pie eating contest sound like a “fabulous idea.” Doesn’t anyone remember past incidents involving pies? We could do without a competitive atmosphere. Yes, I guess your pie can be vegan—if you have no desire of anyone exchanging for it.

What made things worse was one thing in particular that someone wrote. One of the many responses had one teacher saying, “Thank you Mrs. Mendle, I mean Ms. Domino for your prompt response.” How did this make things worse? Let me give you a little back story: Beverly was born into this world as the daughter of Mr. And Mrs. Domino. She married a Doug Mendle. The two recently divorced, and Beverly went back to using her maiden name.

I know; I know. This guy made the faux pas of calling a woman by her married name after a divorce. It happens—in conversation. It doesn’t happen in something that you proofread. Do e-mails need jack-a-ninny check along with spellcheck now? Who types that out and sends it?

Oh gawd! You don’t think he was hitting on her, do you?!

That does it. I’ll never be able to eat pie again.