Friday, November 13, 2009

Breadcrumbs, They Weren’t

There was clearly some hallway hijinks going on yesterday. I didn’t get to see it personally, but I did witness the aftermath. I left my classroom, minding my own business, heading to my mailbox to see what flyers fellow teachers had put in there, peddling their goods and services, hoping to supplement our paltry incomes. What can I say? They give me a kick. Asking a bunch of people for money who are asking you for the same, how can you top that?

Before I get halfway down the hall I come across a backpack. It was no ordinary backpack, but one of those backpacks that looks like a monkey, so that when you’re wearing it looks like you’re giving a cute primate a piggyback ride. I wasn’t too worried though. Students around here are losing their stuff all the time. This particular forgetful child, I assume, still embraces their childlike whimsy and is a member of the Anime Club.

What really caught my attention was that a few steps away was one of those Club things people used to put on their car’s steering wheel. I hadn’t seen on one those in years. Then there was some packaging for some Oscar Meyer wieners. What was going on?

By the time I got to the main thoroughfare I had come across a boxing glove and a torn shower curtain. What the heck had gone through here? Fred Sandford’s truck?

To the left was half a Monopoly board and the lights going that way were flickering. It was that horror-film-lights-flickering-before-the-victim-gets-disemboweled type of flickering. It was freaking me out. To the right was an empty condom wrapper. I went left.

A dingy towel and several empty sunflower seed shells later I find myself at a dead end. And, I swear on my dinner tonight (aerosol cheese and instant coco), there were drag marks that disappeared into the cinder block wall that stood in front of me. I even put my ear up against it to see if I could hear anything.

At that exact moment the bell rang, which freaked me out. Time had run out for my mystery. It was probably a good thing that it did because I’m not sure that I was ready for such truths.

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